5 Signs You’re About To Become A Superhero (Even If It Feels Like You’re Totally Not)
Do you feel like you’re just a face in the crowd some days? It seems like there’s always someone smarter, more beautiful and more successful who’s just got it put together way more than you do. You’re not enough, you don’t feel like enough, and just the thought of becoming a Superhero may seem like a ridiculous fantasy.
There’s only one thing all Superheroes have in common, and it’s not magic powers. Superheroes are made by facing their worst fears and coming out stronger, again and again. The wonder is in how they turn what appear to be insurmountable odds into no problem at all. But for all this to happen, a Superhero really has to spend some serious time in the mud. A caterpillar literally dies in order to become a butterfly.
Do you hear that scream? It could be danger, or it could be birth. When your world’s at its worst, you actually could be in the middle of becoming a Superhero. it’s easy to believe it’s the end of the world, when it’s really the beginning of a new one.
Here are five signs that you’re about to become a Superhero, even if you feel like you’re totally not.
Sign #1: You’re Trying To Please Everyone But Yourself
Keeping everyone happy all the time is extremely difficult, because it’s impossible. Why do you keep trying? Even worse, do you blame yourself whenever others get upset around you? I know it sounds simple when put like this, but it still hurts enough to see others hurting that you’ll go out of your way to avoid that.
I’m guilty of this one all the time. I grew up in the proud Canadian tradition of going to extreme lengths not to offend anyone around me – or even slightly ruffle any feathers. I don’t like to be an inconvenience, and I’m sure you don’t either, but there’s a point where it’s better to be an inconvenience than to put yourself last on your own list all the time.
Pleasing others gets much worse when you’re trying to please others who just won’t ever be pleased. Pouring your energy into this black hole will drain you of your power and turn you into a victim. At the very root of denying yourself to please others is a fear of abandonment. This is a tough one and a demon I’ve faced many times.
The good news is you already know you are in touch with empathy for others. You do want the best for the people you love and all those around you. Your heart is in the right place, but you might not be. Making the choice to value yourself might be all that’s between you and Superhero status.
Sign #2: You’re Doing What You’re “Supposed To”
Are you brimming with excitement when you get up in the morning? Or are you weighed down with obligation? Trudging through the day doing things that don’t make you happy is tiresome, if not soul-crushing. Maybe you work a job that doesn’t excite you because you “need” the money, maybe you dream of moving to the perfect spot but you’re “stuck” where you are.
When you’re doing what you’re “supposed to,” you’re living someone else’s life. That’s no fun at all, but you’re likely doing it for your own protection. Some of this pressure you might put on yourself, and some of it might come from your parents or society. I know how lonely it feels to believe you’re the only one like you in the world.
I remember growing up as a young gay man in a community and a church that regularly reminded all of us kids that gay people were evil. I pretended to like girls and constantly edited my words and actions to appear “straight.” I prayed to the God I thought hated me and asked him to make me “normal.” All I was doing was telling myself on every level how wrong and broken I was. How was I ever going to help anyone else when I couldn’t help myself?
In many ways, my life started the day I was honest with myself about being a gay man My experience of the world was so different when I came from a place of self-love and not the old place of fear and a constant state of alertness. I was finally doing what I wanted, not what I was “supposed to.” My world didn’t end, and I was the happiest I had ever been now that I could just be myself.
Sign #3: You Feel Misunderstood
In college we studied an experiment where a man was in a room with a bunch of other people and a moderator asking them questions. The questions were simple – what is two plus two, how many fingers am I holding up, how many lines are there on this sheet of paper. The man would give the obvious correct answer, but everyone else in the room wouldn’t. He didn’t know they were all actors and intentionally giving the wrong answer to see how he would react. Over time he doubted himself more and more and started giving the wrong answers too.
It’s easy for your light to go out when you don’t have an understanding with those closest to you. It can feel like being trapped in your own cage with no way to fully express yourself. When I feel misunderstood, I feel like I can’t speak. Sometimes I don’t. The man in the study wanted to shrink away the deeper he went down the rabbit hole of misunderstanding.
Think about where you’re being misunderstood, and who isn’t understanding you. Has it always been this way, or are you falling out of understanding with someone? When your own understanding changes, it means you’re growing. Your perspective changes as you realign yourself to higher purpose. Being misunderstood may just mean you’re about to explode and become a Superhero.
Sign #4: Everything’s Up To You
“If I want it done right, I have to do it myself.” This was my mantra for many years, and it still creeps in from time to time today. I tell myself it’s really just my dedication to perfection and my particular way – I worked so hard on “my way” after all. But what I’m really saying is I don’t trust the people in my life to provide for me at or above my needs. No one else has what I have, so I’ve got to do it all myself.
In college I worked at the campus TV station where I produced a couple new programs with my classmates. I learned a lot about creating content for television, but I also spent a lot of time learning how every technical piece of the process worked. At one point I read through the five-hundred-page instruction book for the new digital switcher we got for the control room.
I’m glad I have this knowledge and I learned a lot about how TV production works, but the real reason I learned was so that I wouldn’t have to depend on someone else to produce a television program. I wanted to be able to do everything on my own without having to bring a team with me. After multiple failed attempts over many years, I arrived at what was always the obvious conclusion – I can’t produce a television show on my own.
Is there something in your life that you just “have” to do on your own? Do you get protective if someone else gets involved? Think about where your desire to be the one who got it done outshines your deeper passion. Think about someone you’re competing with right now and how you might collaborate with them instead. That’s how you become a Superhero.
Sign #5: The Future Looks Grim
Hope is lost. The walls are closing in around you and the light is going out. Now is the last good moment of your life – it’s just straight downhill from here. There’s not enough money, there’s not enough time, and enemies are everywhere.
Remember when we talked about this before – Superheroes have to crawl through the mud before they can be born. It just plain sucks, but it’s part of the process. It’s really hard to know it’s just a phase when you’re right in the middle of it, so it’s important to remember. One time when things got really bad, I wrote “This movie is about you” on a piece of paper and taped it to my wall, just so I’d remember the story would go on.
Fear of the future and belief everything’s going to go wrong are symptoms of the villainous Scarcity Mindset. It’s every Superhero’s arch nemesis. It creeps into even the most optimistic minds and clouds them with fear and doubt. Sometimes it comes from within you, sometimes it comes from your family, and sometimes it comes from society at large.
The good news is you have total control over the Scarcity Mindset. When you choose Abundance, you adopt an optimistic view. You align yourself to the understanding that everything doesn’t “run out,” and that you really do have limitless possibilities. Choosing a different mindset requires letting things go, though, and that can be very painful. It’s not easy fight off the Scarcity Mindset, but you can absolutely do it.
When you think your world is about to end, instead imagine you have everything you want. This may be the final act that helps you become a Superhero.
This article is an excerpt from “How To Discover Your Superpower,” your guide to go from Scarcity to Abundance. Click to get your free copy at abundancehackers.life.